So sometimes life upsets us, but we got to suck it up and deal with it!! I have been told I have alot of anger issues towards those I love, and that love me. I don't know why that is, I'm sorry I'm not meaning to show anger towards you.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm angry. I'm just angry about all the bad negative crap that happened to me in the past. Which by thee way, I'm having a hard time letting go of. Though ya'll had nothing to do with my past, I guess I'm more angry at myself then anyone else.
It's like this, I was put on a path as young child to live for Jesus Christ that all did a spiral down the drain around the time I turned 11. My dad didn't want to watch my autistic brother, Bradley while mom went to churcch of an Evening with me. Let me explain, with my brother being autistic he couldn't handle large crowds, he became too overwhelmed.
Dad didn't want to take Bradley with him either when he went to his buddy's house, we believe it was because dad didn't know how to handle Bradley and his autistic ways.
My dad wanted to horse backing riding on the weekends when he was off, I also started to want to go to. We rode a trail from Rick Watson's house which was a big giant circle the wrapped around from John Proper's house to just in front of The Cumberledge Farm, which was right next door to The Watson Farm. Ole Blue Eyes, Blue Eyes, was an antsy small horse, I believe she was a horse, though I was a tiny litle girl, riding her on a horse back ride.
My Aunt Kathy commented "You were raised in a Christian Family and taught to leave it in God's hands." That reminded me of something I should be doing is leaving my hurtful bad past in God's hands, and let God make me whom he wants me to be. I want God to Mold me to what he pleases, to Guide me and walk beside me, use me and fill me with all the love there to give to the world.
Now, I know what my mom's talking about when she used to say she got a sensation or a vibe if you will from certin songs she had me sing growing up. God gave me a gift and that was to sing of his glory!! From here on out I'm gonna find a church that would allow me to sing of God's glory before them.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm angry. I'm just angry about all the bad negative crap that happened to me in the past. Which by thee way, I'm having a hard time letting go of. Though ya'll had nothing to do with my past, I guess I'm more angry at myself then anyone else.
It's like this, I was put on a path as young child to live for Jesus Christ that all did a spiral down the drain around the time I turned 11. My dad didn't want to watch my autistic brother, Bradley while mom went to churcch of an Evening with me. Let me explain, with my brother being autistic he couldn't handle large crowds, he became too overwhelmed.
Dad didn't want to take Bradley with him either when he went to his buddy's house, we believe it was because dad didn't know how to handle Bradley and his autistic ways.
My dad wanted to horse backing riding on the weekends when he was off, I also started to want to go to. We rode a trail from Rick Watson's house which was a big giant circle the wrapped around from John Proper's house to just in front of The Cumberledge Farm, which was right next door to The Watson Farm. Ole Blue Eyes, Blue Eyes, was an antsy small horse, I believe she was a horse, though I was a tiny litle girl, riding her on a horse back ride.
My Aunt Kathy commented "You were raised in a Christian Family and taught to leave it in God's hands." That reminded me of something I should be doing is leaving my hurtful bad past in God's hands, and let God make me whom he wants me to be. I want God to Mold me to what he pleases, to Guide me and walk beside me, use me and fill me with all the love there to give to the world.
Now, I know what my mom's talking about when she used to say she got a sensation or a vibe if you will from certin songs she had me sing growing up. God gave me a gift and that was to sing of his glory!! From here on out I'm gonna find a church that would allow me to sing of God's glory before them.
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